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A bit of humor: You know you've played gomoku too much when
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sandra113 

Dołączyła: 23 Kwi 2016
Posty: 278
Skąd: Australia
Wysłany: 2016-07-17, 18:44   A bit of humor: You know you've played gomoku too much when

You know you've played gomoku too much when:

1. When playing chess, you make the first move if you are black.

2. You can't resist smirking when hearing about Attila (the ruler of the Empire of the Huns), Yixin (an important statesman in China), or Tito (Yugoslav leader).

3. If you are called a schemer - a person who is involved in making secret or underhand plans - you have to resist the temptation to say that you actually prefer corner openings.

4. When you hear that someone reddened, you first instinct is to congratulate him with making 2100+.

5. When you are asked to name any Czech city besides Prague, the first city that comes to your mind is Pardubice.

6. When you see the phrase "full board," you imagine a drawn game before you realize it is a hotel rate that includes breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

7. When someone says he is a progger, you feel like never playing with him online, before you realize it is a slang word for his occupation.

8. When you are asked which team won the Euroleague, you say, "The Lords of XO," before you realize the question is about basketball.

9. On a beach, you would be absolutely unable to resist the temptation to start talking to a girl looking and thinking about a gomoku position like this:

 
 
sandra113 

Dołączyła: 23 Kwi 2016
Posty: 278
Skąd: Australia
Wysłany: 2017-08-13, 13:08   

1. An Afro-American receives a sharp opening and chooses black. The opponent says, "You are going to lose." "Why?" "Because you are black."

2. "Adam, do you prefer sex or gomoku?" "Depends on the opponent and position."

3. A great renju player died. After a few days a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments going on all the time, and you can play against any of the great masters of the past, including all Japanese Meijins, including Yoshizawa!"
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You play against Yoshizawa next Saturday."

4. China, 2017, a labour camp, prisoners are following the AT of the Renju World Championship through a radio. One round is remaining, and Zhu Jianfeng has to play the decisive game, which decides whether he gets gold. A guard finds the radio and confiscates it. So when a new prisoner comes in, they ask him, "What happened in the Renju World Championship?" "I lost."

5. Year 2100. Two friends, namely a great gomoku player and a great renju player, are stopped at the Gates of Heaven by Paul the Apostle, who says, "You guys committed a lot of sins, but you still can pass through if you beat me in your favourite game." The gomoku player chooses gomoku, classically outplays the Apostle from a corner, and passes through. He waits in Heaven for his friend, but hours pass, and the friend is still not here. Fearing the worst, the gomoku player asks the God, "Did my friend lose?" "Don’t worry, he is still explaining the current opening rule."

6. "I owe renju so much. So many wonderful hours."
"Do you really visit the renju club so often?"
"I don't. My husband does."

7. Russia, 1997, a chat of a student hostel’s network:
"Guys, I see "Renju" on the list of the multiplayer PC games available for playing through our network. Any idea what it is?"
"It’s a multiplayer for just two players."
"Just two? Pity... Must be some old rubbish, even turn-based probably..."

8. Fudjin, Lamaza, and Usiek walk together, find a strange bottle, uncork it, and then a genie appears and offers three wishes, one per person.
Lamaza: "I want to become the gomoku world champion, so that everyone admits that I am the true Lord of this game."
Genie: "Why gomoku? Choose chess, it is a way more prestigious."
Lamaza: "Good idea, so make me the chess world champion."
The genie snaps his fingers, and Lamaza disappears. Usiek opens his laptop, googles "Alex Popiel," and reads together with Fudjin, "Alex Popiel, the current chess world champion, confidently took the title away from Magnus Carlsen in the chess match of the century."
Fudjin: "Since chess is now occupied, I want to become the poker king - I want money and glory."
The genie snaps his fingers, and Fudjin disappears. Again, Usiek checks that the wish has come true, and then asks, "So Lamaza and Fudjin entirely quit gomoku, right?" "That's correct. What's your wish?" "A can of cola."
 
 
sandra113 

Dołączyła: 23 Kwi 2016
Posty: 278
Skąd: Australia
Wysłany: 2019-04-26, 15:50   

How well do you know the gomoku community? Take the expertise test below to find out.

You have to fill out the missing names and nicknames. Each hyphen corresponds to a letter.

Question 1

He can't go to his bed
Until he makes his nickname red.
When he's red he is in bliss,
His first name is just - - - - - - .

Question 2

Having grown a long beard,
He is one of the most feared.
Moves of his are all well-thought,
His full name is - - - - - _ - - - - .

Question 3

He is always glad and happy,
Smiling like a joyful yuppie.
He has got an eagle eye,
His Ice Cube nickname was - - - .

Question 4

Always wearing suspenders,
He is thought to cheat contenders.
He resembles a big grouper,
His nickname is - - - - - - - - - - - .

Question 5

Always serious as f*ck,
Even more than Scrooge McDuck.
He is hard to make some fun of,
His surname is - - - - - - - - .

If you scored 5/5, congratulations, you are a true expert!
 
 
sandra113 

Dołączyła: 23 Kwi 2016
Posty: 278
Skąd: Australia
Wysłany: 2019-04-26, 21:13   


(Click on the image to better see it.)

The meme is based on actual statements, views, and habits of Mikhail Lomakin :)
 
 
sandra113 

Dołączyła: 23 Kwi 2016
Posty: 278
Skąd: Australia
Wysłany: 2019-04-26, 21:19   

A renju lesson in Russia. Epifanov is explaining nuances of a renju position to young boys. Suddenly one of them exclaims, ''Now f*cking G13, and white is f*cked.'' Epifanov pulls the boy by the ear out of the classroom and tells him to come back after five minutes. Five minutes are gone, the boy comes back, and Epifanov says in a very strict and threatening tone, "Have you realised what you were punished for?" The boy, "Yes. After 7 moves there is a f*cking cut I had missed.''
 
 
sandra113 

Dołączyła: 23 Kwi 2016
Posty: 278
Skąd: Australia
Wysłany: 2019-04-30, 00:48   

My recent joke got deleted by an admin, who found my joke ''too personal and too offensive.'' I am now posting a revised version, wherein I removed the nickname in order to make the joke entirely non-personal. I hope that this revised version will successfully pass the review by the strict admins.

The God threatens an old hardcore cheater, "If you cheat in the Euroleague again, you will die in water." Scared, the player refrains from cheating for a few months, but eventually decides to cheat again and to always refrain from swimming in order to trick the God. A couple of years later he wins a luxury world cruise in a lottery and decides to take the trip, assuming he is not worth sinking the entire ship. In the middle of nowhere the ship gets caught in a terrible storm and starts sinking. The player desperately cries in disbelief, "My God, will you really let so many people die just because of me?" A loud voice from the sky exclaims, "I've spent a whole year gathering you all, nasty board game cheaters."

I just recalled a famous Russian joke and cannot resist my temptation to post it here:

Early morning. A man hurrying to work passes by an apartment complex and suddenly hears, ''Hey dude!'' The man stops, looks around, and sees a big parrot in a cage on a balcony. The parrot continues, ''You are a complete asshole. Get lost now.'' The man's mood gets destroyed for the whole day. In the evening, after work, the man visits the apartment and complains to the owner. The latter says he cannot remove the cage from the balcony as the bird needs fresh air, but promises to teach the parrot good manners. Next morning the man passes by the same apartment complex and, walking as if nothing had happened, hears, ''Hey dude!'' The man stops and angrily stares at the parrot. The latter stares at him. Long pause. Finally the parrot adds, ''Well, you've got what I want to say.''
 
 
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